258 - Halloween 6 (1995) & Halloween Ends (2022) →

CW: Rape, Incest, Suicide, Domestic Violence

It’s Halloween Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey watch some pretty bad Halloween movies, unfortunately. There is yelling.

Get more on Patreon! Read our afterthoughts for this episode HERE!

The Classic Film: Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
"Six years after Michael Myers last terrorized Haddonfield, he returns there in pursuit of his niece, Jamie Lloyd, who has escaped with her newborn child, for which Michael and a mysterious cult have sinister plans” (IMDb.com). It happened. We've been mostly forgiving of the Halloween sequels, but 6—with its magic runes and nonsense plot—is absolutely the worst.

The Modern Film: Halloween Ends (2022)
"The saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode comes to a spine-chilling climax in this final installment of this trilogy” (IMDb.com). Despite giving us something we didn't know we needed (a smiling Laurie Strode), Halloween Ends decides to cap off the entire series by being mostly about some brand new character you don't like killing a bunch of other people you don't like.

Audio Sources:
"Awakening: Part 1" (Gargoyles S01E01) produced by Disney Television Animation
"Halloween" (1978) produced by Compass International Pictures, et al.
"Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers" produced by Miramax, et al.
"Halloween Ends" produced by Blumhouse Productions, et al.
"Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" produced by View Askew Productions, et al.
"Léon: The Professional" produced by Gaumont, et al.
"Liar Liar" produced by Universal Pictures & Imagine Entertainment
"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
"Split" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

207 - Halloween 5 (1989) & Halloween Kills (2021) →

CW: Suicide

It’s Halloween on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey continue with the most retconned horror franchise in history with Halloween 5, the last okay entry in the original series, before moving on and all the good will from 2018's Halloween is sucked out of them watching its follow-up, the brand new and superbly awful Halloween Kills.

Read our afterthoughts for this episode here!

The Classic Film: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
"One year after the events of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, the Shape returns to Haddonfield once again in an attempt to kill his now-mute niece” (IMDb.com). Look, it isn't as bad as everyone says. Yes, it teases a sharp turn toward garbage in the next installment and it's not a great movie, but there's still some quality stuff here.

The Modern Film: Halloween Kills (2021)
"The saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode continues in the next thrilling chapter of the Halloween series” (IMDb.com). Well, they've lost the plot. This follow-up to the admirably great 2018 refresh is so fan-servicey that it's hard for a fan to actually enjoy. It wouldn't be so bad if it were at least competent... but it's not. This is one of the biggest dips in quality since Part II in 1981. At least Carpenter's soundtrack is still pretty good?

Audio Sources:
"GOT'EEEEMM!!!!!" via WelvenDaGreat @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v8ek9TEeOU
"Half in the Bag: Halloween Kills" via RedLetterMedia @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K71JAJMWeco
"Halloween" produced by Compass International Pictures, et al.
"Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers" produced by Magnum Pictures, et al.
"Halloween Kills" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
"Happy Gilmore" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
"Jamie Lee Curtis Spills Details on New 'Halloween’ Film" via SiriusXM @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjvI5rBlfbA
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks" (Family Guy S02E11) produced by Fuzzy Door Productions, et al.
"The Rap Battle (PARODY) (ORIGINAL) OHHH!" via SUPAHOTFIRE DESHAWN @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu90z9Akxgk
"Spider-Man" (2002) produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

159 - Halloween 4 (1988) & Halloween (2018) →

CW: Mental Illness

Read our afterthoughts for this episode here!

It’s Halloween on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey come alive and go on the hunt for evil!

The Classic Film: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
"Ten years after his original massacre, the invalid Michael Myers awakens on Halloween Eve and returns to Haddonfield to kill his seven-year-old niece. Can Dr. Loomis stop him?” (IMDb.com). Since audiences rejected the idea of a different Halloween-themed story in each installment of the franchise, Halloween 4 brings back Michael Myers to hunt his bloodline... again! We haven't gotten to the druids yet and Danielle Harris is a gem, so this one just barely manages to eke by as acceptable.

The Modern Film: Halloween (2018)
"Laurie Strode confronts her long-time foe Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago” (IMDb.com). Rejecting all franchise lore except for the original, Halloween (2018) kickstarts the FIFTH Halloween timeline with a modern bang. Although it's not saying much, this entry easily takes the honor of best Halloween sequel.

Audio Sources:
"Carrie" (1976) produced by Red Bank Films
"Doctor Sleep" (Audiobook) written by Stephen King and read by Will Patton
"Halloween" (1978) produced by Compass International Pictures, et al.
"Halloween" (2018) produced by Night Blade Holdings, et al.
"Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers" produced by Trancas International Films
"The Italian Job" (2003) produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"The Wizard of Oz" (1939) produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

158 - Hocus Pocus (1993) & ParaNorman (2012) →

CW: Homophobia

Best of 2020 - #7 (Tied) Hocus Pocus

Read our afterthoughts for this episode here!

It’s Family Friendly Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey light the black flame candle, talk to ghosts, and fix all of society's problems!

The Classic Film: Hocus Pocus (1993)
"A curious youngster moves to Salem, where he struggles to fit in before awakening a trio of diabolical witches that were executed in the 17th century” (IMDb.com). Hocus Pocus is a cult classic and for a reason. Put a little Halloween joy in your life and watch with us.

The Modern Film: ParaNorman (2012)
"A misunderstood boy takes on ghosts, zombies, and grown-ups to save his town from a centuries-old curse” (IMDb.com). Don't be like seemingly everyone in 2012 and sleep on this beautifully-animated family horror movie with a heart.

Audio Sources:
"Are You Afraid of the Dark?" produced by Nickelodeon Network, et al.
"Awakening: Part 1" (Gargoyles S01E01) produced by Disney Television Animation
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1992) produced by Twentieth Century Fox, et al.
"Chapter Six: The Spy" (Stranger Things S02E06) produced by Netflix Studios, et al.
"Hocus Pocus" produced by Walt Disney Pictures & Touchwood Pacific Partners 1
"Judge Reinhold/10,000 Maniacs" (Saturday Night Live S13E13) produced by Broadway Video & NBC Productions
"The Mask" produced by Dark Horse Entertainment & New Line Cinema
"ParaNorman" produced by Focus Features & Laika Entertainment
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Stainmaster Carpet Mommy's Little Sweetheart TV Commercial HD" via FM1156 @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvs_qGnBn1M

138 - Double Feature - Night of the Demons (1988 & 2009) →

CW: Suicide, Rape

Read our afterthoughts for this episode here!

It’s (not) Graduation Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey *would* have been watching graduation movies this week, but since there seem to be no ceremonies this year, we’ll watch teenagers have parties they shouldn't be having instead!

The Classic Film: Night of the Demons (1988)
"Ten teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell” (IMDb.com). This B-movie was surprisingly fun, despite (or because of?) a complete lack of commitment to lore or reason. 

The Modern Film: Night of the Demons (2009)
"A group of kids go to a Halloween party, only to have to face down a group of demons” (IMDb.com). Same thing; different day. This second attempt added some promising lore, but it has the absolute stank of post-2000 horror remake all over it.

Audio Sources:
"Airport Security" (from The End of the Universe) written and performed by Lewis Black
"Bela Lugosi's Dead" written by Peter Murphy, et al., and performed by Bauhaus
"Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, et al.
“Code Blue” written by Jack Grisham, et al., and performed by T.S.O.L.
“Night of the Demons” (1988) produced by Blue Rider Pictures, et al.
“Night of the Demons” (2009) produced by Cold Fusion Media Group, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"S&M Present" (Robot Chicken S01E09) produced by Stoopid Monkey, et al.
"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
"The Yada Yada" (Seinfeld S08E19) produced by Shapiro/West Productions & Castle Rock Entertainment

108 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) & The Nun (2018) →

Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1188231833567272961

CW: Suicide

It’s Halloween again on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey do... well, basically what they do all year anyway! But this is the time of year that they cover the Halloween franchise and that means it's Silver Shamrock Time!

The Classic Film: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
"An apparent murder-suicide in a hospital emergency room leads to an investigation by the on-call doctor, which reveals a plot by an insane toymaker to kill as many people as possible during Halloween through an ancient Celtic ritual involving a stolen boulder from Stonehenge and Halloween masks” (IMDb.com). If that sounds absolutely ridiculous, it is. If it doesn't sound like Michael Myers is in this movie, he isn't. Season of the Witch is a divisive entry in the hallowed franchise and our opinion could go either way...

The Modern Film: The Nun (2018)
"When a young nun at a cloistered abbey in Romania takes her own life, a priest with a haunted past and a novitiate on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate... Risking not only their lives but their faith and their very souls, they confront a malevolent force in the form of the same demonic nun that first terrorized audiences in 'The Conjuring 2'” (Warner Bros.). This darkest chapter in the Conjuring universe has gotten a good deal of flack from critics and horror fans alike, but honestly, it still has a lot going for it.

Audio Sources:
"Careless Whisper" written by George Michael & Andrew Ridgeley and performed by George Michael
"Ghostbusters" produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.
"Halloween III: Season of the Witch" produced by Dino De Laurentiis Company & Universal Pictures
"Hercules" produced by Walt Disney Pictures, et al.
"The Little Mermaid" produced by Walt Disney Pictures, et al.
"The Nun" produced by New Line Cinema, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi" produced by Lucasfilm

075 - God Told Me To (1976) & Holidays (2016) →

CW: Suicide, Mass Shooting/Killing, Transphobia, Interphobia, Miscarriage, Rape, Abortion

It's St. Patrick's Day on Pod Sematary! That means Chris & Kelsey are going to once again find some flimsy connection to the Irish holiday!

The Classic Film: God Told Me To (1976)
"A New York detective investigates a series of murders committed by random New Yorkers who claim that 'God told them to.'" This classic, exploitation-style, 70s horror flick certainly goes some places, but will it really give you nightmares... forever?

The Modern Film: Holidays (2016)
"Holidays is an anthology feature film that puts a uniquely dark and original spin on some of the most iconic and beloved holidays of all time by challenging our folklore, traditions, and assumptions." Will the hit-or-miss natures of these vignettes ruin the movie's chances of becoming an all-time anthology classic?

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1104211421850562561

Audio Sources:
"The Alternate Side" (Seinfeld S03E11) produced by Shapiro/West Productions & Castle Rock Entertainment 
"Atlanta" from Nice Try, The Devil written and performed by Pete Holmes 
"Beetlejuice" produced by The Geffen Company
"Clue" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al
"Dracula Untold" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
"Fright Night" produced by Columbia Pictures Corporation, et al.
"God Told Me To" produced by Big Hit Productions & New World Pictures
"Holidays" produced by XYZ Films, et al.
"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show" (The Simpsons S08E14) produced by Gracie Films & 20th Century Fox Television
"Jingle All the Way" produced by 1492 Pictures & Twentieth Century Fox
"The Neverending Story" produced by Constantin Film, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"POWER" written and produced by Kanye West, et al.
"Smuckers Ad (1975)" via Chuck D's All-New Classic TV Clubhouse @ www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGAUcoBjDhU
"Split" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
"We're the Millers" produced by New Line Cinema, et al.

062 - Lady In White (1988) & Monster House (2006) →

CW: Child Molestation and Murder

This week on Pod Sematary, it's haunted houses and even haunteder women! Chris and Kelsey tackle two kids horror movies that maybe aren't for kids?

First up is 1988's Lady in White! In this family comedy, Lukas Haas plays a young boy who also dies at the hands of a serial child murderer! When the ghost of one the victims begs Lukas to help her mom, will Lukas be able to convince the adults to do something or will he have to go it alone? Lady in White is tonal whiplash in the kind of way that makes it absolutely remarkable!

Then it's on to the oft-overlooked Monster House from 2006! Two young boys have to stop their dead neighbor's house from eating children on Halloween night! You could be forgiven if you never saw this one because you assumed it was just another Burton or Pixar rip-off, but do yourself a favor and watch it along with us!

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1071898132932288512

Audio Sources:
"Bobby's Girl" (Bobby's World S03E11) produced by Alevy Productions, et al.
"Get Out" produced by Blumhouse Productions, et al.
"Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment" (The Simpsons S08E18) produced by Gracie Films & 20th Century Fox Television
"Jurassic Park" produced by Amblin Entertainment & Universal Pictures
"Lady in White" produced by New Sky Communications Inc.
"M" produced by Nero-Film AG
"Monster House" produced by Amblin Entertainment, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Sitting Pretty" produced by Paramount Pictures
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze" produced by New Line Cinema, et al.

056 - Double Feature - Halloween II (1981 & 2009) →

It's that time of year again: Halloween Week on Pod Sematary! Each year on Halloween, Chris and Kelsey plan to bring you the next installment in this classic franchise! This year, it's a Double Feature of the 1981 follow-up to the original and the second Rob Zombie installment that definitely isn't a remake.

First it's the classic Halloween II from 1981! Laurie has been moved to the Haddonfield Memorial Hospital after the events of the first movie and Michael Meyers is still on the lamb. Thrill as hospital staff walk down hallways! Join us for John Carpenter and Debra Hill's final word on Michael Meyers -- he's never coming back after this one, folks!

Then it's on to Rob Zombie's 2009 sequel, H2: Halloween II! This movie is chock-a-block full of Zombie cliches, but is it possible that it's actually better than the 1981 version? Find out what got Chris to say, "Like Icarus, he approaches greatness!"

Get more at podsematary.com! Read afterthoughts for this episode at twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1056678173612494848

Audio Sources:
"Black Christmas" (1974) produced by August Films, et al.
"A Clockwork Orange" produced by Warner Bros. and Hawk Films
"Halloween" (1978) produced by Compass International Pictures and Falcon International Productions
"Halloween II" (1981) produced by Dino De Laurentiis Company and Universal Pictures
"Halloween II" (2009) produced by Dimension Films, et al.
"Halloween III: Season of the Witch" produced by Dino De Laurentiis Company and Universal Pictures 
"John Carpenter Plays the Halloween Theme on Nintendo Labo… Kind Of" via IGN @ www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIRG6reVYLs
"Mr. Sandman" written by Pat Ballard and performed by The Chordettes
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
"Whirly Brains" (SpongeBob SquarePants S10E01) produced by United Plankton Pictures
"The Worst Witch" produced by Central Independent Television

055 - Double Feature - 13 Ghosts (1960) & Thir13en Ghosts (2001) →

CW: Rape

Worst of 2017/18 - #5 Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

It's round two on Dark Castle Double Features this week on Pod Sematary! Chris and Kelsey go back to the same William Castle well as The House on Haunted Hill with Thirteen Ghosts! And stick around at the end of the episode for our thoughts on 2018's Halloween!

First up is the 1960 original, 13 Ghosts! Ghosts come to life with the ectoplasmic color of Illusion-O (ectoplasm only comes in red or blue)! Imagine 1959's House on Haunted Hill but without the intrigue and without Vincent Price... it's fine... it's fine.

But, then... oh, then... there's the 2001 Dark Castle remake, Thir13en Ghosts. A movie so batshit crazy that Matthew Lillard is the only one that can see it for what it really is: an ironic comedy.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1053869938144796673

Audio Sources:
"13 Ghosts" produced by William Castle Productions
"The Cabin in the Woods" produced by Lionsgate, et al.
"Excess" written and produced by Tricky and performed by Tricky w/ Alanis Morissette
"The Fly" (1986) SLM Production Group & Brooksfilms
"Halloween" (2018) produced by Blumhouse Productions, et al.
"Mirror Mirror" written and performed by Rah Digga
"Orgazmo" produced by Orgazmo inc., et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
"Thir13en Ghosts" produced by Dark Castle Entertainment, et al.