118 - The Worst of 2019 →

CW: Rape, Sexual Assault, Animal Cruelty

Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1212539244993867776

While Kelsey and Chris are off on their honeymoon, start the new year off right with a look back at the worst movies they covered on the podcast in 2019! Plus, our personal worst lists and the 10 movies that divided us the most!

To listen to these episodes and check out their individual source credits, click the links below:

10: http://bit.ly/35jvBT1
9: http://bit.ly/2SMYxjC
8: http://bit.ly/2sJYSZH
7: http://bit.ly/2QkJfB9
6: http://bit.ly/2rLSD7c
5: http://bit.ly/2SMZjgt
4: http://bit.ly/2QJZ43h
3: http://bit.ly/36wmxLK
1 (Tied): http://bit.ly/2rOSHmK
1 (Tied): http://bit.ly/2QLfvw2

Additional Audio Sources:
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

117 - Bloody New Year (1987) & New Year, New You (2018) →

CW: Suicide, Bullying

Worst of 2019 - #8 Bloody New Year

Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1211413429241597952

It’s New Year's on Pod Sematary! This week, Chris and Kelsey get trapped in a time loop and go DF!

The Classic Film: Bloody New Year (1987)
"Five shipwrecked English teenagers take refuge in an island hotel that is decorated for New Years. The problem is, it's early summer, and soon enough, even the walls themselves are striking out against them” (IMDb.com). Even the director gave up on this movie, and we can see why.

The Modern Film: New Year, New You (2018)
"A group of old friends gather for a girls' night on New Year's Eve. But as they begin to rehash old memories, many of the gripes they've been harboring manifest in murderous ways” (IMDb.com). Part of “Into the Dark,” a Hulu Original horror anthology series produced by Blumhouse, this New Year’s episode explores what can happen when alpha-female bullies become internet influencers. 

Audio Sources:
“Bloody New Year” produced by Cinema and Theatre Seating Limited & Lazer Entertainment
“New Year, New You” (Into the Dark, S01E04) produced by Blumhouse Television
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

112 - Blood Freak (1972) & ThanksKilling (2009) →

CW: Rape, racism, homophobia, ableism, drug addiction.

Worst of 2019 - #9 ThanksKilling

Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1198374745512628225

It’s Thanksgiving Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey get stuffed this week by two very bad Thanksgiving films, only one of which is actually worth feasting on.

The Classic Film: Blood Freak (1972)
A Vietnam veteran/biker meets a pretty religious girl on the road and "winds up at a drug party with the girl's sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers” (IMDb.com). This Thanksgiving stinker is bot remarkably terrible and terribly remarkable. Maybe get drunk or stoned and watch this one with friends.

The Modern Film: ThanksKilling (2008)
"A homicidal turkey axes off college kids during Thanksgiving break” (IMDb.com). Yup. It does what it says on the tin.

Audio Sources:
"Blood Freak" produced by Sampson Motion Picture Production Company
"The Cabin in the Woods" produced by Lionsgate, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"ThanksKilling" produced by In Broad Daylight Films

111 - Mirror Mirror (1990) & Look Away (2018) →

CW: Rape, Eating Disorder, Child Molestation

Worst of 2019 - #10 Look Away

Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1195823977362530304

It’s Evil Mirror Image Week on Pod Sematary! In this episode, Kelsey rubs her gum on an old, dusty mirror and Chris makes out with his reflection! Thanks for the recommendations, Diane!

The Classic Film: Mirror Mirror (1990)
"A teenage girl begins receiving black magic power through an antique mirror that drips blood, not realizing the mirror is controlled by demonic forces” (IMDb.com). Yet another horror movie that doesn't know what a monkey's paw is, Mirror Mirror still manages to be quite a lot of confusing fun.

The Modern Film: Look Away (2018)
"Look Away is a psychological thriller that tells the story of Maria, an alienated high-school student whose life is turned upside down when she switches places with her sinister mirror image” (Vertical Entertainment). This film picked a metaphor that it completely undermines with its own core premise, if that's any indication of its overall quality.

Audio Sources:
"Blade Runner" produced by Warner Bros., et al.
"Look Away" produced by Ace in the Hole Films, et al.
"Mirror Mirror" produced by Orphan Eyes
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

107 - House II: The Second Story (1987) & The Conjuring 2 (2016) →

Worst of 2019 - #5 House II: The Second Story

Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1185625529208188928

It’s a Sequel Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey check out two follow-ups to films we've enjoyed on the show already!

The Classic Film: House II: The Second Story (1987)
"The new owner of a sinister house gets involved with reanimated corpses and demons searching for an ancient Aztec skull with magic powers” (IMDb.com). The first House movie was an unexpected treat for us, but it seems like The Second Story, with its nonsense “and then” plot and shallow child-pandering, has no idea what made the original actually good.

The Modern Film: The Conjuring 2 (2016)
"Ed and Lorraine Warren travel to North London to help a single mother raising 4 children alone in a house plagued by a supernatural spirit” (IMDb.com). In the past, we’ve been vocal supporters of Wan’s Insidious (1 & 2) and Conjuring movies, but is there a point where assuming success poisons what is otherwise a quality flick?

Audio Sources:
"Aladdin" (1992) produced by Walt Disney Pictures, et al.
“The Conjuring 2” produced by New Line Cinema, et al.
“House II: The Second Story” produced by New World Pictures & Sean S. Cunningham Films
"Inspector Gadget" (1982) produced by DIC Entertainment, et al.
"It" (1990) produced by Warner Bros. Television, et al.
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated" (2010) produced by Warner Bros. Animation
"The Transformers" (1984) produced by Hasbro, et al.

094 - Double Feature - When a Stranger Calls (1979 & 2006) →

Worst of 2019 - #6 When a Stranger Calls (2006)

It’s a Double Feature Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey decide whether or not to check the children in this urban-legend-turned-feature-film combo recommended by listener Alex!

The Original: When a Stranger Calls (1979)
“A psychopathic killer terrorizes a babysitter, then returns seven years later to menace her again" (IMDb.com). It’s everyone’s favorite UL: The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs! Plus, we talk way too much about gender dynamics and dating.

The Remake: When a Stranger Calls (2006)
“During a babysitting gig, a high-school student is harassed by an increasingly threatening prank caller" (IMDb.com). In 1979, Fred Walton added about 70 or so minutes of content to a 20-minute concept to make a pretty awesome film; in 2006, Simon West tried to get about the same length without adding ANYTHING. It goes about as well as you could expect.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1153434017313640448

Audio Sources:
"Black Christmas" (1974) produced by Film Funding Ltd. of Canada, et al.
"Down Once More/Track Down This Murderer" written by Charles Hart, Richard Stilgoe, & Andrew Lloyd Webber and performed by Michael Crawford, Mary Millar, Steve Barton, and the Original London Cast
"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" produced by Universal Pictures & Apatow Productions
“Grandma’s Boy” produced by Happy Madison Productions, et al.
"New in Town" written and performed by John Mulaney
"Old Town Road" written and performed by Lil Nas X
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"The Princess Bride" produced by The Princess Bride Ltd., et al.
"S&M Present" (Robot Chicken S01E09) produced by Stoopid Monkey, et al.
"Scrooged" produced by Paramount Pictures & Mirage Productions
"Split" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
“The Three Caballeros” produced by Walt Disney Pictures & Walt Disney Productions
"Urban Legend" produced by Phoenix Pictures, et al.
"Weird Satanist Guy" via BowserVids @ www.youtube.com/watch?v=YErFwJX0HKE
"When a Stranger Calls" (1979) produced by Melvin Simon Productions
"When a Stranger Calls" (2006) produced by Screen Gems & Davis Entertainment
"zendaya is meechee" via Gabriel Gundacker @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx5YqFKjTCY

080 - Night Of The Lepus (1972) & Beaster Day (2014)

CW: Animal Cruelty

Worst of 2019 - #4 Night of the Lepus

It's Easter on Pod Sematary and that means Chris & Kelsey are talkin' all about killer bunnies! (Oh, and the Pet Sematary remake...)

The Classic Film: Night of the Lepus (1972)
"Giant mutant rabbits terrorize the south-west" (IMDb.com). Thrill as regular-sized bunnies hop around miniature sets and old people act tired!

The Modern Film: Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell (2014)
"A giant bloodthirsty Easter bunny starts viciously killing the local townsfolk. When the Mayor refuses to act and the attacks grow more gruesome, the town finds its very survival in the hands of a wannabe actress and a crazy dog-catcher" (IMDb.com). From the nonexistent siblings that brought such classics as Girl Explores Girl: The Alien Encounter and Lust in Space: The Erotic Witch Project IV comes another movie.

Plus! Our spoiler-free thoughts on the Pet Sematary remake!

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1116506992485363713

Audio Sources:
"Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell" produced by Purgatory Blues LLC
"Boyz N the Hood" produced by Columbia Pictures
"The Fifth Element" produced by Gaumont
"A League of Their Own" produced by Columbia Pictures & Parkway Productions
"Meet the Feebles" produced by WingNut Films
"Night of the Lepus" produced by A.C. Lyles Productions
"Pet Sematary" (1989) produced by Paramount Pictures & Laurel Productions
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by Starcrawler
"Shaun of the Dead" produced by StudioCanal, et al.
"Theme From the Greatest American Hero (Believe It or Not)" written and performed by Mike Post & Stephen Geyer

078 - Slaughter High (1986) & April Fool's Day (2008) →

CW: Suicide, Bullying, Date Rape, Homophobia

Worst of 2019 - #3 April Fool’s Day (2008)

It's April Fool's Day on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey discuss an 80s slasher that's greater than the sum of its parts and a remake of an 80s classic that never should have been made!

The Classic Film: Slaughter High (1986)
"Eight people are invited to their old high school for their ten-year reunion where a fellow former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is out to seek revenge" (IMDb.com). It's a worn-out plot. It's made by people with little knowledge of the country where it was supposed to take place. The accents are so bad that they're funny. It has a twist that makes the movie worse. But if you love 80s slashers, this one is a can't-miss!

The Modern Film: April Fool's Day (2008)
"A year after an April Fool's Day prank which resulted in the death of one of their set, a group of friends find themselves targeted by someone who is out for revenge" (IMDb.com). This was supposed to be a remake of the 1986 original of the same name (the reason Slaughter High had to change its name), but when they couldn't get the rights, they were forced to reWRITE instead. With our affection for the original and the quality of this stinker, that was probably for the best...

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1112104098378047488

Audio Sources:
"April Fool's Day" (2008) produced by 360 Pictures
"Bring It On" produced by Wonderworks Films, et al.
"Clue" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Pretty in Pink" produced by Paramount Pictures
"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
"The Secret Fate of All Life" (True Detective S01E05) produced by Parliament of Owls, et al.
"Slaughter High" produced by Spectacular Trading International
"Split" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
"Steve Martin/The Blues Brothers" (Saturday Night Live S03E18) produced by NBC Productions & National Broadcasting Company (NBC)

072 - Double Feature - Poltergeist (1982 & 2015) →

CW: Severe Domestic Abuse & Homicide, Flashing Lights/Photosensitive Seizures

Best of 2019 - #6 Poltergeist (1982)

Worst of 2019 - #1 (Tied) Poltergeist (2015)

It's a Double Feature! This week on Pod Sematary, Chris & Kelsey watch one of Kelsey's favorite horror movies ever! And... its shiny, soulless remake!

The Classic Film: Poltergeist (1982)
All IMDB has to say about the plot of this Spielberg/Hooper horror is: "A family's home is haunted by a host of demonic ghosts." Somehow, hidden in this straightforward plot is an honest portrayal of a family in turmoil.

The Modern Film: Poltergeist (2015)
A family whose suburban home is haunted by evil forces must come together to rescue their youngest daughter after the apparitions take her captive. See? Even the plot summary feels like it has to be flashier than the original.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1097330715866198016

Audio Sources: 
"Galaxy Quest" produced by DreamWorks & Gran Via Productions
"Lisa's First Word" (The Simpsons, S04E10) produced by Gracie Films and 20th Century Fox Television
"Miskel Spillman/Elvis Costello" (Saturday Night Live, S03E08) produced by NBC Productions
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Poltergeist" (1982) produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), et al.
"Poltergeist" (2015) produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), et al.
"Science Fiction/Double Feature" written by Richard O'Brien & Richard Hartley and performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

071 - Play Misty for Me (1971) & Swimfan (2002) →

CW: Suicide, Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Drug Addictions

Worst of 2019 - #1 (Tied) Swimfan

Happy Valentine's Day from Pod Sematary! This week, Chris and Kelsey discuss films about homicidal stalkers!

The Classic Film: Play Misty for Me (1971)
A brief fling between a male disc jockey and an obsessed female fan takes a frightening, and perhaps even deadly turn when another woman enters the picture. This calls for the "Eastwood Solution."

The Modern Film: Swimfan (2002)
A high school senior with a promising swimming career has a one-night stand with consequences. But is he too big of a douche-nozzle for us to care?

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1094745281927790593

Audio Sources:
"Bill Hader" (Conan S09E03) produced by Conaco
"Carry On Wayward Son" written by Kerry Livgren and performed by Kansas
"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones
"Play Misty for Me" produced by The Malpaso Company
"Runaway Bride" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.
"Split" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.
"Swimfan" produced by Twentieth Century Fox, et al.
"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" produced by Carolco Pictures, et al.
"Zero Effect" produced by Castle Rock Entertainment, et al.